Pollution Problem Solved, PM10 Standards to be Raised (April Fools’ Day)

 | Thu 31 Mar 2016 17:00 ICT

CityNews – April 1st, 2016, The Office of Environmental Control has announced the happy news that the pollution problems in the north have now been solved, effective immediately.
“We have tried penalising people who burn,” explained Som-oke Deedee, Director of the Office of Environmental Control, “we even looked into solutions such as mulching and biochar, but frankly it is hard work, and not realistic. At the end of the day these are small, and ineffective measures. Right now the problem is that people see that pollution levels are at PM10 180, or 200 and it is causing panic amongst residents and tourists.

Pollution Problem
The World Health Organisation has set global standards for safe levels of PM10 pollution at 50. Thailand has long since set its standards at 120. However, Som-oke’s new solution is to raise the Thai standards to 220.
“If we raise the safety standard to 220 then it means that there are only a few day a year which we exceed this,” he said, opening a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label in Top 10 Karaoke in celebration.
“I have no idea why no one has thought about it before,” said Saosuay, the CEO of Karaoke 10 who was also present at the interview. “It is genius, pure genius. Now I can go out and breathe the air, jog a kilometre and finish burning the leaves in my garden knowing that we are all still safe.”
“Frankly, we are astounded at this simple solution,” Deputy Mayor Faimai Muanmuan told Citylife. “We are about to work with TAT to launch an international campaign called Amazing Smokefree Thailand which will tell all tourists all over the world that Chiang Mai’s air is now below danger levels. We are already planning a large meeting with tour operators to get the message across.