Ministry of Education Declares English Music Classes Mandatory: Katy Perry, Beyonce and Maroon 5 included on official curriculum (April Fools’ Day)

 | Thu 31 Mar 2016 17:00 ICT

CityNews – 1st April, 2016, this past Monday the Minister of Education declared that as well as English language being a mandatory part of the Thai public education system, there will be an English music component as well. This new component will go into effect starting in May 2016. English teachers are being prepped with a weeklong course that ranges from learning the Cupid Shuffle to intensive coaching on how to sing “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys.

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When asked why the shift in curriculum, the Minister of Education gave a plethora of reasons. “I feel that this will introduce students to new aspects of English speaking culture and increase motivation for English learning. Also, I’m just a real big Justin Bieber fan. I always request the Biebs when I’m out on the town doing my karaoke thang,” the Minister of Education said in a roughly Google translated statement.

Some English teachers are very excited about the upcoming curriculum. “I already have my M1 students learning the Thriller dance. I can’t wait to do more with music. I think singing is the best way for students to learn. The louder the song the better!” said Jamie Fuller, an English teacher in Chiang Mai from Kansas, USA.

The science teacher with the classroom next to Fuller’s, Aum, is less than thrilled. “Jamie is a very nice teacher, but she is very loud. Now her class will be even louder,” said Aum, who was later seen cursing under her breath and buying ear plugs at the local 7Eleven.

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“One Direction will serve as future educational icons and inspiration in Thailand.”

Students will be tested on memorisation of songs. Schools will host activities, such as Music Video creation and lip-syncing competitions in order to create momentum behind the new curriculum. An M2 student named Bew already thinks she has a lock on the lip-syncing competition. “I know every One Direction song by heart. I’m going to marry Harry. These other amateurs cannot beat me,” Bew told Citylife confidently.

The official curriculum is wide ranging, ranging from Celtic music to Jay-Z. However, Australians in Thailand are feeling rather slighted, complaining that the curriculum does not include any music from their “great nation”. The Ministry of Education fired back at their complaints, “Once the Australians come out with some music actually worth listening to, unlike that Iggy Azalea poppity pop, the Thai curriculum will be amended to include it.” The Australian expats have not responded to this.