Nutters &Gems File

 |  July 2, 2018

For many years Citylife has kept a nutters &gems file, where we hoard our most treasured insults, accusations, requests and comments. Here is one of my favourites from a few years back:

Dear Citylife,

I am a student at Chiang Mai University and we all love to read Citylife. Sometimes we have problems for understand the English but when we use the dictionary it is ok.

In Citylife Vol. 13 No 05 we read about Lampang but had a big problem with the English and I think you can help US. We learn from our ajarn not to make the paragraph too long. On page 12 the first paragraph is very long. I think you should have made new paragraph at: “When the Commissioner of Lampang…” On page 12 four lines from the end there is a word FUNNEST, we cannot find this word, do you think it should be FUNNIEST? On page 13 line 29 it says “Unfortunately the Lampang River Lodge is BLOODY lovely. I cannot understand why a hotel is covered with blood, unless there was a murder. But then he says lovely!!!!On page 13 Col. 2 line 36 he says” Lots of goods and STUFF ” We know about stuff a chicken, but don’t understand this. On page 13 line 49 it says UNFEASIBLY, we cannot find this word only UNFEASIBLE. On page 13 line 57 it says ORIENTED, we cannot find this, should it be ORIENTATED. On page 13 line 60 it says THE AIR IS PRETTY. We do not understand how air can be pretty when you cannot see it. It then says DAMN FRESH should this be DAM FRESH like a dam a piece of water? [Ed. The air is pretty damn fresh.]

I am finishing now, but don’t believe that he drank a CRATE of Singha. I thought it was only young immature boys who boasted about how much alcohol they drank. We had a lecture and the ajarn told US that a sign of being alcoholic was to exaggerate how much alcohol you had drunk, perhaps that is why.

Thank you and I hope you can answer our questions in the next Citylife.


[Ed. Adorable…and confirms my theory that everyone who learns a foreign language deserves a gold medal.]

Thanks for all of you who submitted your wise, ahem, cracks, for last month’s caption competition. A few had to be censored, but here is the…err…passage that we picked:

“Enough arsing around, let’s get back to I work!” by Jeab Sija, congrats^ Jeab, you I have won 500 baht.

If you have any photographs which you think warrant a cheeky (there I go again) I caption or two, please feel free to send them I along to us, a published picture on this page I will win you 500 baht. Please email I
Huay Kaew Boad(Jaeng Hua Kin)